Tag Archives: YouTube

GET OUT OF MY CLOSET!

I am the definition of anti-hoarder. If I can make anything ‘capsule’ I will. TV shows like ‘Britain’s Biggest Hoarder’ have me covered in a cold sweat, pulling out my hair. My flatmates have to stop me marching into their rooms armed with washing up gloves, something reminiscent of a CSI jumpsuit and a roll of bin bags to give them my ‘expert’ help. When it comes to my wardrobe, the slimmer the better. Perhaps I’ve just watched too many YouTube style videos or maybe  I was a fairy godmother in a former life, but suffice to say I do love a good wardrobe clear out at the weekend.

Chuck them out! Photo by 'Quite Peculiar': http://bit.ly/133x8LQ

Chuck them out!

Photo by ‘Quite Peculiar’: http://bit.ly/133x8LQ

 

Because my hoarder girlfriend is the ying to my yang, she is point blank refusing to let me go anywhere near hers, so I thought I’d pen down my five steps to wardrobe clarity for you lucky girls instead. So if you’re drowning in clothes that haven’t seen the light of day in years… Read on!

Step 1: Be BRUTAL. Get everything out, lay it all down and take a good long look! My rule of thumb here is if it hasn’t been worn in the last year then it’s out. Of course exceptions are made for special items like graduation and birthday numbers. I mostly keep those just so one day I can show my future kids and we can have a bawl at how ‘noughties’ those were. Get walking to that bin bag…

Step 2: Do the whole summer/winter half & half thang. It sounds a little cliché but if space is of the essence then siphon your clothes via seasons. A vacuum bag is a small but significant investment. I’ve got a whole bunch of winter jackets & coats vac-packed under my bed waiting for September, fingers crossed maybe even October. The same goes for your summer stash, there’s not point having a million pair of flips flops kicking about when it’s close to -5c out there!

Step 3: Get organising. So now you’re done editing, it’s time to rehang. Here’s how I do things in my chateau: I order everything in clothing categories: tops with tops, shirts with shirts, skirts with skirts… You get the concept. In actual fact it goes dresses, skirts, jeans/trousers/shorts, short sleeve tops, long sleeve tops, shirts, jumpers, jackets. Feeling OCD yet? Everything’s pretty easy to spot and it saves at least 3 minutes each morning, which is 3 more minutes in my bed: time well spent!

Step 4: Get down to IKEA and get yourself that fancy rope hanger thing. While this might seem like a really unnecessary step and a bit of a strange addition, I have this bad boy nudged in between my skirts and tops section. It’s reserved for special things only: belts, little pouch bags, scarfs etc. Basically if it can hang but doesn’t fit in any of my OCD’esque categories listed above then on it goes. Nice addition no?

Rope hangers are surprisingly useful!

These are surprisingly useful!

Step 5: Fix up, look sharp. This is by far my least favourite part of this whole shebang. I guess a real wardrobe spruce wouldn’t be complete until any broken bits are fixed though, so get those mini sewing kits out (my faves are cutesie ones from Cath Kidston and they’ve got an online sale just now, grab yours for  £7.50 ) and start finding spare buttons, cutting loose threads, unsticking zips and then some. This is officially the worse chore of all time. Time to salvage my unstitched Primarni playsuit –it’s needle and thread time.

Good luck getting that thread in that ridiculously tiny needle whole btw!

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Pride is a protest

… but not against our own community.

And that’s how I feel right now.  Yesterday I did a little research into the acts playing at Glasgow Pride, getting excited, looking forward to the protest march, meeting my friends and celebrating our community! I looked through the line-up and realised Heather Small is playing (I love Heather Small) and then noticed that the ‘Queens of Pop’ were also performing. Now not having heard of them before I popped them into YouTube, and from there my day got progressively worse.

Queens of Pop Will I Am Parody

Yes, in case you were wondering, that is a white man ‘blacked up’ to take the piss out of a black man. All together now, can everyone say “privilege”?

What I found was a bit fat dose of what I like to think of as anti-pride. As I have written before, to me Pride is about celebrating how strong we are in the face of adversity. It’s a beautiful, positive space where our community comes together to celebrate all we have achieved. The Queens of Pop however, seem to me to be the total opposite of this. In particular they take pleasure in taking the piss out of people with AIDS, black people,  women, and domestic abuse. Woo!? 

Beyonce being shaken by her dad

This is Beyonce being physically abused by her dad. You see how this is funny, right?

I understand that the Queens of Pop are a very popular act at various venues. But I just don’t see how their negativity fits with being proud ourselves. It seems very simply that the Queens of Pop are picking on people less privileged than themselves (whether that be because of sex, race, HIV status), to give their audiences pleasure. I think it’s wrong to celebrate our own strengths and triumphs with the oppression of others.

If after your own YouTube research you feel similarly, do something about it! I would urge you to get in touch with the Pride Glasgow organisers either by messaging them: http://www.prideglasgow.co.uk/index.php?option=com_wrapper&view=wrapper&Itemid=142 or tweeting at them: @prideglasgow or via facebook: http://www.facebook.com/prideglasgow. And, they are also playing at Manchester Pride who can be emailed here: http://www.manchesterpride.com/contact/ 

And if by the end of this you feel like you need cheering up, here is Heather to keep us on track for a fabulous Pride!

Keep Pride something we can be proud of.

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